Welcome to University of Life.

Tanjal,

I could tell the moment you were born that you would be exceptional. Enjoying to see you grow with us from baby to toddler to adolescent to now a young adult, one thing I've heard time and time again is that "time flies" with kids. In fact, I have always held the polar opposite view. I saw you develop every year. Documenting your first words, first walk, first laugh, preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school, and every milestone in between, including the first failure. Every single one of those defining experiences is carved into my memory.

These are the moments that I cherish and remember them every day. Nothing can express my pride of seeing the woman that you are developing into.

This weekend, as we accompanied you in your move-in to the first year of University life at Ashoka, I still can't believe my little girl left her "nest". Coincidental but contrasting, we are both at the start of being independent – yours and ours.  

For us as Parents, it’s a time of immense change, topped by thrill, fear, and liberation.  I know that you are now a grown-up adult learning life with your own experiences and may not like advice as much but I cannot stop myself from sharing something that you can come back and read later as and when you need.  Trust me, these are not the standard ones like study well and eat well kind of stuff.  Ponder on these whenever you can.

Express Gratitude: You are both privileged and obligated to learn because it is your primary role in higher education. To gain an education, people are willing to put their lives on the line. A lot of people in our world can't afford it. Acquire as much knowledge as you can and strive to have a constructive impact.

Have a Flexible mindset: Even if you believe you've found your way, keep an eye out for possibilities and side roads along the way, you never know what can pop up.  Be receptive to new types of people as well. You never know who you may meet next (and they could be thinking the same thing about you). Learning these people skills will help you build your future self.

Be your real, true self:   I know in this world full of social media perceptions and presentations, it is very difficult to stay or show your true self.  However, if you hold on to your true values not being wrongly influenced by the trends, they will stay with you for life.  People will ultimately value your true self and not what you portray about yourself.

Seek truth at all times: I am sure you must have read about Plato's cave. Unlike the others, the one who manages to get out of the cave refuses to take the story as gospel truth. Keep on thinking like a philosopher. Maintaining an open mind, accepting that there is always something new to discover and a variety of viewpoints to choose from.  Sometimes you may assume that everyone who disagrees to a general perception is a complete moron  However, "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are", and life is complicated.

Instead of taking the popular or simple option, you should always look into it more. In life sometimes there are frequent choices depicted as black-and-white, This or That. Both of these are probably not the truth. You can always find an alternative. Try to find it.  Seek truth at all times.

Listen without Judging: Humans are multi-faceted beings. Their actions and words may not always make sense. Their hurtful remarks may make you want to write them off, put a label on them, and ignore them. You might also take their compliments or criticisms personally. However, it's rarely about you when individuals act disrespectfully or insult you, rather, it's about their own journey's pains, anxieties, dreams, and worries.

Every person's actions are motivated by some deeper truth. Rely on human beings. Despite all, "I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart," Anne Frank wrote in her diary during the Nazi captivity. Seek for the positive. Get the good stuff. Listen carefully, ignoring body language and speech. It tells a narrative. You can never fully comprehend the struggles and hardships that another person has endured. Listen without passing judgment.

Be as Risk taker:  Just make sure they're smart risks, not foolish ones! As a father, my heart screams -"Be careful!" But you are aware, though, that my life is not like that! You learn, grow, and discover yourself in the face of peril. Life is a constant gamble. Taking the safe route gets you nowhere. A person can be either courageous or dead.

While it's important to consider all of your alternatives, think things through, listen to counsel, and avoid being foolish, once you've done that, fear should never be an obstacle. Nothing in life is definite and no path is ever completely secure. Although not everything will go according to plan, you may become stronger with each setback since you will have learned from your mistakes. So, be bold.

समंदर के पानी को बारिश बनने के लिए भी तपना पड़ता है।

हर ओर से बारीकी से तराशने पर तो पत्थर से हीरा बनता है।

ज़िंदगी के तजुर्बे इतनी आसानी से कहाँ मिलते हैं।

हर दर्द से गुज़रने पर ही इंसान को सुकून मिलता है।

हर गिरावट में एक सीख छुपी होती है,

सफलता का असली मतलब ठोकर खाने के बाद ही समझ में आता है।

जो ढूंढे आसमान में सितारे, उन्हें रात की तन्हाई सहनी पड़ती है,

जैसे उजाले की कीमत अंधेरों में ही समझ में आती है।

You’ll be around lots of people at college—even so, sometimes you may feel lonely or down or even overwhelmed. The best advice I can give you is to do something with those feelings. Call someone, take a shower, take a walk, listen to music, or exercise in any form. Any step ahead is a step forward, no matter how small.

I think we have prepared you pretty well for this. I’ve already seen you weigh alternatives and decide to do the right thing. Please continue to make wise choices when you’re away from our influence. Take a moment to consider how you’ll feel if you make one decision versus another. Which decision will make you feel proud of yourself? Your opinion of yourself matters.

By the way, enjoy yourself. The fact that you're going to do it anyhow means that I can skip to include it in my recommendations. Do it. You can't help but, words like "fun" will never be the same after you.

Walking around in the house without your noise and seeing your empty clean (Non-Messy) room is a reminder that Life is not the same anymore for us.   Well, that’s a price that we pay for bringing back a better you for us.

Love you always.. Now and forever.