23 Years of Love: Lessons, Laughter, and the Art of Finding Faults

Marriage is often described as the merging of two souls, but in reality, it’s more like two people trying to navigate life while pointing out each other’s quirks—and occasionally tripping over them. After 23 years of being married to Kinjal, I’ve come to appreciate that the real art of marriage isn’t avoiding faults; it’s finding them, laughing about them, and turning them into moments of connection and growth.

Take the classic towel and socks debate, for instance. Kinjal claims I usually never put the towel in the right place after showering and leave it on the floor and the same with socks or shoes, and I’m pretty sure some of you may have also same story in your lives.  These tiny, seemingly insignificant habits might seem trivial, but they’ve been the spark for countless playful arguments and inside jokes over the years. It’s in these small, imperfect moments that we’ve found the rhythm of our life together.

And then there are these punctuality wars—an eternal battle between her argument that we are always much early in any party or event due to my obsession with being on time and her way of thinking that no one comes on time so why should we?  Over time, we’ve learned to “compromise” (or so we tell ourselves) by slight delay adjustment from my end and slightly early from hers. What could have been a source of frustration has become a shared story, a little dance of give-and-take that adds warmth (sometimes literally) to our relationship.

The current scenario of intolerance that I see in society, it triggered me to share my thoughts on the ART OF FINDING FAULTS in the partner.  Marriage isn’t just about identifying faults; it’s about what you do with them. Early on during our early years of marriage, Kinjal pointed out that my skills of handling an argument with friends were way too rough and it could really hurt someone even if I did not mean to,  I could have taken offence, but instead, I turned it into a challenge—and now I rarely have such a conflict with anyone in an argument.  Even though i put my point across in the argument but the method change has helped a lot. Her honesty pushed me to grow, and in return, I’ve occasionally nudged her to embrace my way of doing things- (which she graciously ignores).

The truth is, we’ve spent the last few years out of these  23 years learning to laugh first and solve later.  Early on we had head-on collisions while we did not understand each other better but eventually we found a way out. 

A wet towel on the floor, an argument over buying something or shopping, or being choosy in food habits—none of these are crises when you approach them with humour. We’ve made a habit of turning faults into opportunities for connection (Aapda me Avasar ), realising that laughing out on faults has an incredible way of disarming frustration and making room for love.

Over time, we’ve also discovered that our faults don’t weaken our relationship; they strengthen it.

Where I fall short, Kinjal steps in, and where she stumbles, I try to be her safety net. It’s not about fixing each other but filling in the gaps, creating a partnership where imperfections are the glue that holds us together. 

So here we are, 23 years later, not perfect but perfectly us. Our marriage is a patchwork of moments—some polished, many flawed—that together form a story worth telling. For anyone wondering about the secret to a happy marriage, here’s what we’ve learned: find each other’s faults, embrace them with love, and let them be the light that shows you the way forward.

After all, life isn’t about avoiding cracks in the wall—it’s about appreciating the beauty of how they let the light shine through. 

Here’s to 23 years of love, laughter, and a lifetime of learning from our beautifully imperfect selves.

PS: It looks like a good idea to write my next book on ART OF FINDING FAULTS .. What do you guys think? Send in your comments or suggestions.