Thoughts about God and religion in Paryushan..

My Search for God

The road I have traveled has been a long one filled with many twists and turns and a few stops along the way yet; my destination has always remained the same. Is there a God?

Growing up in a Jain family, I always questioned and doubted the words of my fellow family members. As a child I often wondered how I could be sinful when I knew not the wrongness of my actions. How could I be sent to a fiery death (Nark), expelled from heaven because I, dared to do something which my religion did not allow ? As a teen I have pierced ears but my implanted fear of fire and brimstone quelled any action I may have taken.

I had almost stopped going to temple when I was sixteen and denounced the existence of God; my nightmare inducing, finger pointing, sitting in judgment God of my childhood.

From that point on if I was asked if I believed in God, if I was a religious Jain my answer was an adamant no!

Now When I have a daughter, I want her to search her own souls and travel her own streets to find what she believes in. I took

Recent roadblocks in my life have again caused me to look at the signs around me and question my beliefs. Do I truly not believe in God or have I always believed, just calling it by another name? How can I believe in science and still believe in some invisible being? How can I have faith in someone or something that I can not reach out and physically touch?

Within my own search I wish to speak to someone in hope that I can get some direction in my life and some closure regarding God.

Being a science student I understand the big bang theory, matter and anti-matter, atoms, cells, molecules, neurons, but fail to understand the debate between god and evolution.

Through science there are over one trillion neurons in the brain and one thousand connections and we ask “how can that just happen?” “The universe is elements and gases yet the universe is growing and expanding, so where is it coming from?” Any answers ?

“Science leads us to a place where there are no more answers, so it is easy for me to conceive in an ultimate power.

“God is not an individual sitting on a throne in heaven; he is an entity of force that binds us all together.”

“Further more; all religions have one universal theme: love and acceptance of others.”

When I use the name God, for me it represents an individual, a human form and I believe it to be a huge force, an emotion, a sense of wellness in my world, an energy that surrounds us all providing us with peace and love and unity.

I may not use the word pray but instead, send my thoughts out to the universe. I may not believe that puja is just worship together in a temple but choose to surround myself instead with my family and rest. I do however; believe in helping others who need it, in trying to do the right thing, in not purposely harming others and showing tolerance and love and acceptance and isn’t that what its really all about?

Though my travels by far are not over and I still have many mountains to climb I now know that wherever my highway leads me I will always have that powerful force walking beside me, guiding me and surrounding me with love, hope and acceptance.

And that to me is GOD ! The almighty