Turning Forty..(40) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I completed 39 years and entered in forties.

40 is a confusing age. Old enough to not be a kid anymore, still young, inexperienced, and stupid enough to feel like a Kid.

One feature of my version of me at 40 is that I have gradually, through the years, weeded my habits of many of the meaningless societal norms I had programmed into me as a child. For example, I have stopped believing in all the religious Kriyas ( Just some of the customary rituals ) and my belief system puts Good Karma (Good deeds) at the fore-front.

For some reason people pay special attention to the birthdays and anniversaries that are evenly divisible by 10 (like 20 , 30 or 40 years). Why 10? What’s so special about 10? Sure, it has some interesting mathematical properties, but we don’t tend to make much use of them when we measure time and I personally hate mathematics.

I can’t remember my 10th, 20th, or 30th birthdays. I don’t recall having done anything spectacular while I was of those ages. Nothing especially remarkable happened to me when I was 10, 20, or 30.

But, here I am at 40, somehow unable to shake the made-up significance of this particular instance of modulus 10 equaling zero.

Here are some interesting facts about becoming 40:

· The vast majority of people that I know and are around me live to be at least 40. It’s just only one day more remarkable than turning 39 + 364 days. And in fact one day less remarkable than turning 39 + 366 days (depending on leap years I guess).

· At 40, I’m statistically probably just over half way through with my life considering average Indian Life span.

· My turning 40 is slightly more remarkable for me than my birth and my eventual death. Everybody is born and everybody dies. Its just about how everybody takes it when they turn 40.

· At this age, I’m becoming aware of just how long and short 40 years is. Literally everything that has ever happened to me can fit into 40 years. If I do another 40, twice as much can happen in total, but…

· Relative to the age of the earth or civilisations or many other arbitrarily choosable lengths of time, 40 years is so insignificant that I might as well not even exist (This is the effect after watching the movie (INTERSTELLAR) on time travel.

Now that I’m relatively old by age (Not by Mind), I’m supposed to be able to give young people advice. I don’t really have any, so instead I’ll give young friends a glimpse into what 40 is like (for me, anyway). Here goes.

Being 40 feels very much like being 30. Except your body hurts more. Even if someone who is in much better shape at 40 than I was at 30, It still literally hurts. We hear a lot of jokes about getting stuck with the same spouse for a life time now…Or even chained to their Spouse. But it’s real. Sorry about that.

Also, Importantly I can’t stay awake as long as I used to without getting seriously sleepy. I’m pretty sure I’m generally less fun than I used to be which most people around me would have noticed. That’s pretty crucial considering the kind of Fun I have had so far.

At 40 I feel a much greater sense of appreciation for all I have and all I have been able to do in my life. With a successful married life I have had the gift of experience a large portion of my life with  Kinjal and that itself is a big achievement for sure. I’ve made a satisfactory and remarkable career for myself (at least that’s what I think myself J ) . I’ve had the privilege to travel around the world, working, meeting people, teaching students , speaking at seminars, and generally exceeding any expectation I’ve ever had for how things would turn out.

I feel a much stronger sense of urgency to remember to appreciate every minute of every day. I’m professionally much more accomplished than I was at 20 or 30. But I don’t feel the magnitude of that every day.

I do, however, feel the magnitude of my increasing, deepening love for my wife and my family. I understand more acutely the rarity of true friendship and the scarcity of empathy. And I have learned to differentiate between proximity and truth when it comes to human relationships. A relationship doesn’t have to be constantly tended to to remain precious, but it must be revered.

Like turning 40, none of these realizations is remarkable. But, sometimes just feeling and expressing is enough. As I get older I realize not everything I do has to be an attempt to be remarkable. It is just another milestone in this short and sweet event called Life….

I hope everyone have a good day today, even if–especially if–it’s not your birthday as I believe.. YOU DON’T NEED A BIRTHDAY to have A GOOD DAY..

Thanks for reading this. God Bless.